Parenting – How To Raise Teenagers
Raising teenagers is hard. There are many parents that fear the teenage years. That fear may be merited because these are the years that the relationship between the kid and the family is being redefined. The importance of friends rises for them, while the parents and siblings fall. The fruit of your labor is not as easily seen as it used to be. In some cases, it may even seem like your influence is outright rejected.
As teens move toward greater independence, they often rebel and resist parental rules. This requires parents to adjust some of their tried-and-true approaches that may have been effective when their kids were younger. Changing some rules and giving more privileges as teens show better judgment are ways you can help them to slowly gain maturity.
We have compiled a list of tips on how to parent a teenager. Conflicts are inevitable but the way you navigate them will help with your child’s ability to regulate and manage their big emotions.
Listen
A lot of times what seems like a decent chat with the teen can turn into a crazy argument at any moment. Such conversations are typical. In many ways, parenting a teen is similar to parenting a toddler who is going through huge developmental leaps. Listen to what the teen has to say. They are growing individuals with an opinion of their own. They have a right to it. Respect their views, try to see their perspective and then agree or don’t agree with it. Listen more than you talk, to understand what’s going on in their mind.
Teen relationships – get to know their friends
Relationships are among the many things that your teen is exploring at that age. Adolescence is the age where they build meaningful friendships that can last a lifetime. Now you may not like all their friends. You may worry that they are a bad influence on your child. Here is a tip: Don’t tell them to stop meeting a friend or seeing someone you think is not good enough for them. Do that, and they are sure to push you away. If you want the kids to talk to you about a relationship, and maybe even ask you relationship advice then be open.
Always have rules
Smart and successful parenting is based on a set of rules that are well-defined, reasonable and come with consequences. Make sure that the kids know what the rules are and understand the consequences of breaking them. Most importantly, be consistent with the rules and the consequences. Both parents should work to be on the same page when it comes to rules, so have a discussion with your partner before you lay down the rules. If there are two parents in the home, the sense that you are working together as partners will give your teen a feeling of safety as they take steps to explore and become independent. It is important to understand that rules function as boundaries within which the teen can explore life to his or her heart’s content, without harming themselves.
Teach them to be responsible
Face it. Your baby has grown up and is a teenager who stands five or six feet tall. They are not helpless children anymore and may not need you for everything. That’s okay. Even if you do not like it, you need to accept that they are soon going to be adults and won’t need hand-holding. Rather than getting angry that they are making their decisions (you won’t be able to stop them anyway), teach them to be responsible. Decision making and critical thinking are two of the important aspects of responsibility. You need to teach your teenager to be responsible not just for themselves but also for the family and the society. Some of the ways you can make them responsible are to give them chores, encourage them to take up a summer job or volunteer for something. Make one thing clear – they are always accountable for their actions and behaviour. Be a good role model and take responsibility for things you do or mistakes you make.
Don’t let technology take over parenting
How many teens you met do not have a social media account? How many of your teen’s friends or classmates do not have a smartphone? No matter how hard you think, you won’t be able to come up with a number more than five. Okay, ten at most! The reality is that we need technology to make our lives easier. Giving your teen a smartphone will make it easier for you to keep a track on their whereabouts. But it can also be annoying given how a teen is distracted by the phone, laptop or a tablet. While it is okay to let the kids play with the gadgets, it is not good to let them get addicted to it. While it is okay to give them access to smartphones, laptops, and other devices, it is important not to let them get carried away by them. Have rules that restrict usage of laptops, the internet, and social media. Help them find a way to balance time spent in the real world and on the World Wide Web.
Instill confidence
Instill confidence in your teen, and you will help them make their dreams come true. That said, make the distinction between confidence and over-confidence. While it is okay to believe that she they achieve anything they sets her mind to, they should also know about their limitations and capabilities. Teach them to take little risks that bring in rewards they desires. It is okay if they fails. Most importantly, make them understand that they doesn’t need to be perfect.
It’s okay to be emotional
Boys may be encouraged not to cry or show emotions. Teenagers are vulnerable to emotions. But they inhibit themselves from experiencing their feelings because the society makes them feel that boys should be strong, not sensitive. Pent-up emotions are dangerous and can result in a breakdown too. Also, suppressing emotions, for whatever reason, is not healthy. Teach your teen boy that it is okay to be emotional. Encourage them to feel love, anger, happiness, sadness or whatever it is they are going through. Tell them it is okay to cry.
Setting unreasonable expectations
When you have kids, you should have house rules. But don’t make rules that are unrealistic. There is nothing wrong in having high standards and expectations, as long as they are realistic. Expecting them not to make mistakes is not right. So set realistic goals and expectations before coming up with rules. Think about how you were as a teenager. Think like a teenager and see if the rules seem fair or not. The teenage parenting tips you have read so far are just that: tidbits of useful information for raising a teenage girl or boy. There is no one-size-fits-all guide when it comes to parenting. But a little patience and a lot of trial and error can make this stage of development, when your child is on the way to becoming a young adult, a time of growth and joy.